Nigerian Scammer vs. American Asshole with Lots of Free Time

Dear, sweet lord.

Have any of you ever gotten one of those Nigerian scam emails? You know, the ones that ask you to give your bank account info so that they can put $10 Million in your account temporarily (but still letting you have a healthy cut for your trouble) for some unexplained reason?

Well, this bastard apparently decided that it was an opportunity to have some fun:
Check this out.

It's an epic tale, of which, had it been in some sort of rhyming scheme, Homer could have been proud.

Let me just give you a sneak peak so as to tantalize (from his first reply email to the scam spam):

"I want to help you, but unfortunately I do not have a savings or checking account. Is it possible to have a check sent to me directly? I would then use this check to open a bank account (Key Bank has free checking for a limited time so please hurry). I am very excited about this opportunity. I have never been good with money so you can only imagine how happy I got when I read your email. My grin is ear to ear baby. I know you said this is confidential but I had to share it with my friend Brad Fairyman. He was a little skeptical but I told him "NO BRAD , I will not let you rain on my parade! " He thinks I should ask you for proof but I said "the proof's in the check. Yeah baby!" Between me and you Albert, Brad has always been a little jealous of me ever since my promotion. I'll tell you that story another time though."

They never should have given you money.....

Ok so I used to be an IR person, but I've now decided to dedicate my life to more worthwhile things like B<PL or OPP. Anyways, apparently Charles Taylor tried to escape from Nigeria in a jeep with diplomatic plates and a trunk filled with lots of cash. I am no genius, but maybe just maybe he should not have fled in a jeep with diplomatic plates...

Why Law School? Shit! Why not?

First off, to all you fans (Read: Genevieve) who have been disappointed by the lack of entries, I apologize. This is supposed to be sort of a co-op post what you want when you want type of thing, but I must admit a responsibility to our readership to post consistently.
As for my own silence over the last few days, I will attribute it to two things:
1) The loss of the world's oldest animal (hey, it's a hard story to follow); and
2) Law school

Bleh. Law school.

I remember that on admitted students day, people were pretty inquisitive and gung ho about the whole project: "Why did you go to law school?" we'd all ask each other.
Part of the reason we were so positive about the whole thing is that school hadn't started, so we all felt like this:










I was thinking about using this blog to ask, "Why did you go to law school?" But then it occurred to me I no longer cared. Why?

Because, now, I feel like this:



(this picture of me was taken last week, btw).









So, why do I feel this way? Well, I am still technically glad that I went to law school, but I don't think I could actually qualify myself as happy. At least not as happy as that freakin' kid in the first picture (Jesus, that kid's happy).

So, as a warning to others, I now pose the question:
"Why shouldn't you go to law school?"

Any ideas, kids?

sad news

World's oldest animal dies. :(

ABC News: Long Live Addwaita: Tortoise Dies at 250

And I was sitting in a study room until 10:30 last night working on ICWA, and now I am back in selfsame study room working on ICWA. :(

And W says the war in Iraq will go on for many more presidents to come. :(

Lots to hate on today.

Bush Sucks #5

Apparently the US Debt ceiling has been raised to 9 trillion. That's a lot of NYU trained corp. lawyers....... Lets just assume that the theories on private sector crowding out are true and lets leave out things like annualized cash-flow accounting v. economic accrua and lotl.... Reason #5, Bush Deficits+crowding out of private sector investment =Less economic growth. "There are some economic risks associated with a high level of government borrowing:

• If the economy has only a small supply of savings, increased government borrowing may force up interest rates and crowd out private sector investment
• Higher borrowing in the long-run requires an increase in the tax burden - this may dampen demand and economic growth
<>If the national debt increases, annual interest payments on the debt goes up - money that might have been spent in priority areas"

See Econ library

Our bumbling Texan President is stifling economic growth. In short, you can't cut taxes and increase spending. Loyal readers of this blog know the Sam Roe theory of political economy, tax rich people. I repeat, tax rich people. They will not miss it. Next in the series Bush and Democracy: Why Uzbekistan and Pakistan are what's hot on the street....

Admin Poll/Bush Sucks

Was it just me, or was I mistaken for Mr. Fernandez during today's admin class?

My apologies to all. I've been a bad liberal. I've spent too much time on this blog bashing fancy schools and not enough time bashing bush. So I've decided to do a little policy primer on why Bush sucks. This series will run through the rest of the semester.

I.C.W.A.

Indian Child Welfare Act
Incidentally, Craig went awry.
Indefatigable cheaters win awesomely.
Indigo Chicks was angsty.
Ivory chessboard willed away.
Introductions capped with anonymity.
Irradiated chipmunks wander aimlessly.
Isn't China wholly anesthetized?
Irrespectively, Chuck walked angrily.
Italians cook wonderful appetizers.

I can't work anymore.

23 hours, 17 minutes, 28 seconds left.

I Got Your Oral Argument Right Here, Pal

We went to court today to see oral arguments.
Some of you left early. Some of you left when Maya left (actually, most of you left when Maya left). Of the six people that were still around, only two of us, myself, and Air Force Captain Jarrod Stuard stayed for the whole thing (which stretched out to only about 3:40).

For shame, kids, you missed out.

The second to last case was about as law school as you can get--you had two young public interest lawyers, an assistant D.A. versus a public defender, carrying on a conversation straight out of our crim class last semseter (for those of you fortunate enough to have participated, think of a standard Jacobs lecture sans his winning personality). It was the only straightforward, well argued (well, by the assitant D.A. at least) case on the docket.

But it was the final case of the afternoon that was the most enlightening.

Defendant's Lawyer: "If it would please the court, I would like to summarize the facts for the benefit of the members of the audience."
The Five Judge Panel: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! No."
Jarrod and I started laughing, too, as he and I were the only "members of the audience" remaining.
One Judge (still laughing): "You can explain the facts to them afterwards." The lawyer, an impish, sickly looking man, who either could not afford or had failed to notice the value of teeth and hence, had few, looked at us and grinned in what I could only fear was anticipation.
I stopped laughing.

From there on, the man continued to rile and entertain us. Granted, he argued, the police had the right to enquire what the man and woman were doing after he noticed the two struggling and shouting and saw blood on the man's shirt and arms, and granted, he argued, the police had the right to observe and follow after the man yelled at the woman to get in the car and the two attempted to escape without answering the officer, but, he argued, the moment they sounded their sirens, they violated his client's 4th amendment rights. It was great. The attorney for the State did a fantastic job of not laughing. The judges, already on there last case of the day, did not feel the need to control themselves.

After the case was over, the man walked up and handed me his oral argument notes, saying, "It was the only case on the calendar today with any political appeal."

The notes, spanning several pages and bound with a single ill-placed staple centered at the top of page, begin with a single bold-face title in 24 or 36 point font that reads:

FREE ERIC
BREWER NOW!!

The first paragraph reads (errors included): "Let me tell you a story that's as American as applie pie. It's all about Eric Brewer who until September 2, 2002 was gainfully employed as a construction worker building skyscrapers that touched the sky."

MY GOD, that's good lawyering.

Tuft? TUFT!?

First of all, I don't think any of us realized that there was a Little Ivy League. Did any of you know this?
It's rather incredible, but apparently it's possible true. Anyways, Tufts is on there, and it's neither
little nor Ivy. This is a Tuft:















Actually, that could be several Tufts (it looks like at least two), but, regardless, it looks more like grass than Ivy to me.

Secondly, and relatedly, I don't think most of us even KNEW that there was a Smurfs Video Game let alone that it would be so horrifying. Please visit this site for an AMAZING recount of the experience. (As an interesting side note, make sure to be on the look out for the tuft which appears partway down).

Here's an excerpt:

Smurf Rescue takes place in the Land of the Smurfs. Or, Land of the Smurf, anyway, as there seems to be only one in this game, with the exception of the sassy Smurfette, who has been captured by the awful Gargamel and now languishes in his dark castle. Are you Smurfy enough to save her?

Well, it's not going to be easy. The designers of this hot new game had the foresight to make it challenging by denying the Smurf any sort of offensive attack... go ahead, hit those two buttons as much as you like. They do nothing. It's a gutsy move, sure... but those ColecoVision wizards are thinking outside the box. The only thing they allow your Smurf to do is jump. I just hope, for Smurfette's sake, that it's enough.

New York City's two largest non-profit hedge funds both recieved $200 million dollar gifts. My hedge fund will use its money for a classics departments or something like that. What are classics? Are John Wayne flicks classics? What about Debbie Does Dallas? What about Shaft ficks? What about the last Torts lecture? Have you heard an opening statement by Sam Roe? Anything by Sam Roe is a classic.
------------------------------------- From the NYTimes:


New York University and Columbia have each received donations of about $200 million, among the largest to academic institutions in recent years. The gifts, from different donors, come as both universities try to compete with rivals that have far larger endowments.

N.Y.U. and Columbia are longtime rivals, as Mayor Bloomberg observed at Columbia yesterday, but both universities must compete with other elite universities with much more money. Columbia's endowment is about $5.2 billion and N.Y.U., which is in the fifth year of a seven-year capital campaign to raise $2.5 billion, has about $1.6 billion, according to The Chronicle of Higher Education. In contrast, Harvard has more than $25 billion and Yale, $15 billion.

Starbucks

Today’s weird interaction at Starbucks. I politely smiled throughut this whole traumatic event.

Random person with lots of makeup and multiple layers of clothes on: Hey Singer.
Sam: Hello.
Random: Are you a rapper?
Sam: No, sorry.
Random: are you a singer?
Sam: Sorry.
Random: You look just like my friend Senegal. I thought you were him.
Sam: Sorry, I have that type of face. I get that all the time.
Random: You’ve never been to LA, I swear I know you. You have to be a rapper. You’ve never been to xyz club?
Sam: Sorry.
Random: You are a west village kid? Not the type to venture over into the east village?
Sam: quite true (Mind you I have on an Ipod, laptop, the outfit from my favorite gap mannequin and Harvard fleece. I am pretty sure that isn’t the East Village look).
Random: OK, I am leaving.
Sam: Take care.

The woman then runs back into starbucks and says the streetsweeper is after her!

Random: Do you dance?
Sam: No.
Random: You are supposed to know how to dance.
Sam. Sorry.
Random person: Ok the street sweeper is gone.
Sam: Take care and be careful.

This encounter was better than last week when the NYU security guards in the starbucks kept giving me hard looks. That was my fault though, I was walking around in sweatpants and black fleece.

UPDATE: I hope Sam does not mind my adding a picture of a streetsweeper for your edification - the Diministrator.

Spring Break Done Broke

Hey, remember when people used to post things on here?
That was fun. Anyways, just a reminder that this blog is still active, willing, and ready to accept posts and comments of the lowest caliber (Fudge, I'm talking to you) so feel free to contribute, peeps.

So, I don't know about anyone else, but MY Spring Break has gone well--I even made an emergency trip to the Student Health Center to be treated for severe dehydration. You know what a lot of people take for granted? The ability to drink fluids. Well, not me, not anymore.

For a better account of the story, check out Des's pseudo-fictional version.

Anyways, if we are measuring the success of Spring Break by the same metric used in high schools and universities across the country (i.e. how much vomiting you did) I hereby declare myself the Winner of NYU Law's Spring Break 2006.

Anyone else feel like sharing?

The Hedge Fund

The hedge fund in New Haven is at it again. The man on the left is, Rahmatullah Hashemi, a former ambassador for the Taliban and spokesman for the regime. He's now a freshman at Yale Universitya with a fourth grade education.I suppose his past is all good.

Was it all good for Hector Gramajo, the
Guatemalan minister of defense held liable for torture in Xuncax v. Gramajo? Hewas served with process while receiving his diploma at commencement ceremonies for Harvard University’s Kennedy School of Government. Who served him? Yalies on a mission. Maybe they can serve Mr. Hashemi.

Re: AIDS Walk, NYC

Des is doing the AIDS Walk in NYC this May.
I urge you to check it out and donate if you can.
AIDS WALK

I have already made a donation on behalf of the blog, and if anyone is going to be around and is interested in actually raising money or even just walking to show support, you should visit the site or shoot me an email.

That's it, there's no joke here.

Booo Yale

Connecticut’s largest hedge fund is at it again. click here

From my favorite business newspaper:
Exxon plans to boost annual capital spending to nearly $20 billion and increase oil and gas production.....

The market spoke.

Tax the rich

BY JOE DONOHUE Star-Ledger Staff

In his starkest remarks yet about the state's bleak financial outlook, Gov. Jon Corzine said yesterday he will have to impose deep cuts and possibly raise taxes to close a projected multibillion-dollar budget gap.

Corzine will recommend a new state budget in two weeks. He said during last year's campaign that tax increases would be a "last resort." But yesterday he acknowledged he doubts that cuts alone can overcome a shortfall that his advisers now project at $4.5billion.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please tax rich people. It's really easy. Rich people who don't like taxes didn't vote for you. Sure a progressive income tax discourages savings, but the reason rich people are rich is that they save a lot of money.

OH NO! NOT OUR COMPUTERS!

Professor Feldman, in his finite wisdom, has decided to ban laptops from his Constitutional Law class starting Wednesday. This, as I can understand, may stir the emotions of my collective classmates. In fact, many of those classmates may expect me to use this post to call out for a rebellion against this new rule. But I will not. For I have come to pack away my laptop, not praise it--the evil wrought by a technological device will outlive it, though its virtues and utility goes with it into the backpack. So let it be, with my ThinkPad.

Feldman has told us that our laptops are distracting, and if it be so, than that is a greivous fault, and one that an inanimate object cannot answer to.

I liked my computer, it was useful,
But Feldman has said it was distracting,
and Feldman is a wise and honourable professor.

When I was unsure of what the case holding was,
Or I couldn't remember my notes,
Or I needed to quickly find a particular section of the Constitution,
My laptop was there for me,
But Feldman has said it was distracting,
and Feldman is a wise and honourable professor.

I am not here to dissaprove or second-guess Feldman,
but to speak of what I know, which is this:
I really, really, really liked using my computer in class and now I can't.
Fuck.

Keeping it real

So I am walking into the train station and a guy asks me for money....

Beggar: Can I have fifty cents?
Sam: Sorry I don't have any money.
( I honestly didnt have money on me. Its silly to carry cash late at night)
Beggar: (Screaming) Why you gotta be like that? I know you got money.
Sam: (Screaming) Get out of my face before I slap the taste out of your mouth.

I had a rough day.....

Things are getting WAY too serious...

So, here's what I learned it Torts today:

bob
pop

dob
qop

Isn't that great? They look like mirror reflections.

What this cost me: $171.30 ($18,500 tuition for semester/ 4 classes/ 27 meetings of said class)

Ouch. I'm wasting my money.

Breaking News

Once again, Subpoenathis is at the forefront of a breaking story.
Read about the mass-killings in the DUMBO area of Brooklyn here.

Ruth Bader falls asleep during oral arguments.

Ruth Bader falls asleep during oral arguments.

This is why we all deserve a siesta. Odds are if you are reading this point you are: 1) Well educated 2) In your mid-twenties 3) will be, if not already, in the top 10% of income earners

You will have plenty of time to be serious, but for now enjoy the fruits of your labor. Take RBG's lead and sleep when you feel like it. I know it isn't "professional", but you have a whole life to be professional. Given that we al need naps, I am starting the Siesta club. We will met each Monday and Wednesday from 2:00 PM- 4:00 PM. Some of you have this thing called "Torts" during our meetings. If RBG can nap while a lawyer speaks, we all should respect her precedent.

ANOTHER EDITION OF...FUDGE PONDERS STUFF!

Why is everyone so upset about Dubai controlling our porks?
How come I scratch my butt, but it keeps on itching?
Why have I never been on a second date?
If we are a government of laws and not of men, what's the deal with women?
Why does milk give me such bad gas?
How come Justin Erlich only wears pink and baby blue?
You ever hear of that investment company called UTI? Shouldn't they change their name?