Nigerian Scammer vs. American Asshole with Lots of Free Time

Dear, sweet lord.

Have any of you ever gotten one of those Nigerian scam emails? You know, the ones that ask you to give your bank account info so that they can put $10 Million in your account temporarily (but still letting you have a healthy cut for your trouble) for some unexplained reason?

Well, this bastard apparently decided that it was an opportunity to have some fun:
Check this out.

It's an epic tale, of which, had it been in some sort of rhyming scheme, Homer could have been proud.

Let me just give you a sneak peak so as to tantalize (from his first reply email to the scam spam):

"I want to help you, but unfortunately I do not have a savings or checking account. Is it possible to have a check sent to me directly? I would then use this check to open a bank account (Key Bank has free checking for a limited time so please hurry). I am very excited about this opportunity. I have never been good with money so you can only imagine how happy I got when I read your email. My grin is ear to ear baby. I know you said this is confidential but I had to share it with my friend Brad Fairyman. He was a little skeptical but I told him "NO BRAD , I will not let you rain on my parade! " He thinks I should ask you for proof but I said "the proof's in the check. Yeah baby!" Between me and you Albert, Brad has always been a little jealous of me ever since my promotion. I'll tell you that story another time though."