Monday, December 04, 2006

How To Tell if You are Crazy

For thousands of years, determining if you were crazy was a costly and time-consuming endeavor. One had to hire psychologists, excorcists, or philosophers well versed in the human body and the proper balance of its "humours"--usually at costs so outrageous that only the three richest kings of Europe could afford them--and then sit in their sterile offices for DECADES while they poked, prodded, and asked you about your experiences in kindergarten as the only kid who "spoke directly to Jesus."

I say WAS, because I have devised an amazing, effective, and inexpensive test for determining crazitude in the average human being. In the interests of the free exchange of information, I have made this test available on this blog.

If any of the following sets of circumstances describes you, you suffer from clinical crazosity:

1) You are under the age of 65, but you regularly get up at 4:30 in the morning even though you have nothing to do, and then you begin watching "Fox and Friends," because "it's the dog's favorite show."


2) You're an actor and your character's given name is "Theodore," but you introduce yourself in the movie as "Ted 'Theodore' Logan" and then go on to make a string of sci-fi action movies and then my grandpa mispronounces your real first name as "Canoe" because he thinks it's funny (he also says that Mel Gibson is actually only three and a half feet tall and runs around on stilts).

-OR- (finally)

3) You think it's a really good idea to take all the Muslims in the United States and tatoo crescents on their forwards to ensure our national security.

(You can't make this stuff up).


Blogger eve said...

That article was so fucked up I just cried.

10:43:00 AM  
Blogger Radio said...

Yeah. Sorry to introduce with the humourous lead in, but what else can you do?

8:19:00 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home