Loosey Who?
You know how there's that loosey guy? That guy that will sell you one cigarette instead of like, a whole pack of cigarettes? No?
Okay, well in a lot of the more...urban or pre-gentrified neighborhoods in NYC, there's always some guy, either on a street corner or in a bodega, who will sell you a single cigarette for like 25 cents. Sure, it's more than the proportionate price per cigarette if you buy a whole pack--and you don't know where that cigarette has been--but it's just so useful (not that I smoke). It's the ultimate convenience.
So, I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice if there were other loosey guys as well?
Like a guy who will sell you one hot dog bun for 35 cents. Wouldn't that be great? How many times do you need like one or two hot dog buns and have to buy a whole pack? It's crazy! It happens like, all the time, like, to everyone.
Or a guy who will sell you a single bullet. You don't need a whole box of bullets when you are gonna kill someone--just one, unless you're a really bad shot. And bullets are expensive! Just think about it: Big E. is all up in your grill, macking on your ho, and you go to pull out your piece and BAM: no bullets. Isn't that the worst? Imagine the convenience of being able to get one hollow point bullet for $1.65 on the street right out in front of the club on a Saturday night!
What about a guy that would sell you like one tire? Doesn't it suck to have to buy 4 new tires each time you get a flat? I always thought that was lame. We could really use a loosey tire guy on the side of the interstate! "Buy a tire!" he'd say, "Only $65!" Wow. That would be the best.
Okay, well in a lot of the more...urban or pre-gentrified neighborhoods in NYC, there's always some guy, either on a street corner or in a bodega, who will sell you a single cigarette for like 25 cents. Sure, it's more than the proportionate price per cigarette if you buy a whole pack--and you don't know where that cigarette has been--but it's just so useful (not that I smoke). It's the ultimate convenience.
So, I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice if there were other loosey guys as well?
Like a guy who will sell you one hot dog bun for 35 cents. Wouldn't that be great? How many times do you need like one or two hot dog buns and have to buy a whole pack? It's crazy! It happens like, all the time, like, to everyone.
Or a guy who will sell you a single bullet. You don't need a whole box of bullets when you are gonna kill someone--just one, unless you're a really bad shot. And bullets are expensive! Just think about it: Big E. is all up in your grill, macking on your ho, and you go to pull out your piece and BAM: no bullets. Isn't that the worst? Imagine the convenience of being able to get one hollow point bullet for $1.65 on the street right out in front of the club on a Saturday night!
What about a guy that would sell you like one tire? Doesn't it suck to have to buy 4 new tires each time you get a flat? I always thought that was lame. We could really use a loosey tire guy on the side of the interstate! "Buy a tire!" he'd say, "Only $65!" Wow. That would be the best.
posted by Radio at 5:26:00 PM
1 Comments:
You know, they do sell single tires.
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