Back From Hell (Back in Hell?)
Okay, despite popular belief¹, I am not dead. Do I wish I was dead? Well, that's another matter and not one particularly suited to a "welcome back" post such as this. Oh, that reminds me:
Welcome back.
During the summer, I enjoyed what individuals on the outside might normally refer to as "being human²." Now that I am back in the legal seminary, it occurs to me how esoteric³ I have become.
My areas of study are esoteric. (One of my last undergraduate courses was "Post-Colonial Studies of Literature in the English Language." Law school has only made me focus more narrowly--hence the upcoming "Advanced Topics in Art Law Seminar"--coming in 2007!)
My jokes are esoteric. (See footnote 2, below, and if you get the reference, you have my sympathies. Here's a hint: Diogenes, Aristotle, and a chicken.).
My conversations are esoteric. (If you don't believe me, ask anybody who has had the, ahem, "privilege" of sitting in on one of my witty exchanges with the young Mr. Portnoi).
My life has become a Monty Python skit, without the zany madcap that made that pre-post-modern television program so culturally palatable to the masses.
We all have our reasons for livingª, and I have decided that mine is based upon the exclusion of other people. Well, lucky for me, exclusion of the masses is a key element of the business of the practice of law. Please consider the following examples:
You are the buyer at a commercial business and you are making a large purchase. According to business customs, you write a contract to ensure that the agreement you have made with the seller (the exchange of money for goods) is binding. To write this contract, you will need the help of a lawyer. To interpret the contract, and protect his own interests, the seller will also need a laywer. Should the seller not send you the goods--despite you sending him the money--you will need a lawyer to help you "enforce" the agreement. In order to carry out the process of litigation, the seller will also need a lawyer. Both parties will submit arguments to a judge, who will interpret the situation with his own team of lawyers and lawyers-in-training and who is, herself, nothing more than a lawyer appointed to a higher post.
Simply put, if you wish to pursue your legal rights, you will, often, need a lawyer to do so. He is your intermediary into the complex world of law, and he gets a cut for everything he does.
This arrangement reminds me of a passage from Leviticus*. THE LORD explains to Moses that about the various "offerings" that must be made whenever a Israelite sins or is guilty of a sin, etc. Essentially, everytime an Israelite screws up, they have to take a healthy animal or animals that they possess and present it to the priests, who then "offer" it to THE LORD by cooking it so that THE LORD may enjoy the "aroma." What do you do after it's cooked? Well, Leviticus 7:7-10 tells us that:
What a scam.
¹= For the purposes of this post, "popular belief" means the belief of a popular individual or individuals and not a belief held by a large portion of the population unless the individuals composing said portion are, themselves, independently popular.
²= For the purposes of this post, "human" means a featherless biped with flat fingernails.
³= Attention Family Guy fans, for the purposes of this post--and normal human communications--"esoteric" does not mean "delicious."
ª= No we don't, but the statement is a tried--and trite--literary device.
*= How esoteric of me.
Welcome back.
During the summer, I enjoyed what individuals on the outside might normally refer to as "being human²." Now that I am back in the legal seminary, it occurs to me how esoteric³ I have become.
My areas of study are esoteric. (One of my last undergraduate courses was "Post-Colonial Studies of Literature in the English Language." Law school has only made me focus more narrowly--hence the upcoming "Advanced Topics in Art Law Seminar"--coming in 2007!)
My jokes are esoteric. (See footnote 2, below, and if you get the reference, you have my sympathies. Here's a hint: Diogenes, Aristotle, and a chicken.).
My conversations are esoteric. (If you don't believe me, ask anybody who has had the, ahem, "privilege" of sitting in on one of my witty exchanges with the young Mr. Portnoi).
My life has become a Monty Python skit, without the zany madcap that made that pre-post-modern television program so culturally palatable to the masses.
We all have our reasons for livingª, and I have decided that mine is based upon the exclusion of other people. Well, lucky for me, exclusion of the masses is a key element of the business of the practice of law. Please consider the following examples:
You are the buyer at a commercial business and you are making a large purchase. According to business customs, you write a contract to ensure that the agreement you have made with the seller (the exchange of money for goods) is binding. To write this contract, you will need the help of a lawyer. To interpret the contract, and protect his own interests, the seller will also need a laywer. Should the seller not send you the goods--despite you sending him the money--you will need a lawyer to help you "enforce" the agreement. In order to carry out the process of litigation, the seller will also need a lawyer. Both parties will submit arguments to a judge, who will interpret the situation with his own team of lawyers and lawyers-in-training and who is, herself, nothing more than a lawyer appointed to a higher post.
Simply put, if you wish to pursue your legal rights, you will, often, need a lawyer to do so. He is your intermediary into the complex world of law, and he gets a cut for everything he does.
This arrangement reminds me of a passage from Leviticus*. THE LORD explains to Moses that about the various "offerings" that must be made whenever a Israelite sins or is guilty of a sin, etc. Essentially, everytime an Israelite screws up, they have to take a healthy animal or animals that they possess and present it to the priests, who then "offer" it to THE LORD by cooking it so that THE LORD may enjoy the "aroma." What do you do after it's cooked? Well, Leviticus 7:7-10 tells us that:
7 "'The same law applies to both the sin offering and the guilt offering: They belong to the priest who makes atonement with them. 8 The priest who offers a burnt offering for anyone may keep its hide for himself. 9 Every grain offering baked in an oven or cooked in a pan or on a griddle belongs to the priest who offers it, 10 and every grain offering, whether mixed with oil or dry, belongs equally to all the sons of Aaron.'"
See also, Leviticus 7:28-34:
"28 The LORD said to Moses, 29 "Say to the Israelites: 'Anyone who brings a fellowship offering to the LORD is to bring part of it as his sacrifice to the LORD. 30 With his own hands he is to bring the offering made to the LORD by fire; he is to bring the fat, together with the breast, and wave the breast before the LORD as a wave offering. 31 The priest shall burn the fat on the altar, but the breast belongs to Aaron and his sons. 32 You are to give the right thigh of your fellowship offerings to the priest as a contribution. 33 The son of Aaron who offers the blood and the fat of the fellowship offering shall have the right thigh as his share. 34 From the fellowship offerings of the Israelites, I have taken the breast that is waved and the thigh that is presented and have given them to Aaron the priest and his sons as their regular share from the Israelites.' "
See also, Leviticus 7:28-34:
"28 The LORD said to Moses, 29 "Say to the Israelites: 'Anyone who brings a fellowship offering to the LORD is to bring part of it as his sacrifice to the LORD. 30 With his own hands he is to bring the offering made to the LORD by fire; he is to bring the fat, together with the breast, and wave the breast before the LORD as a wave offering. 31 The priest shall burn the fat on the altar, but the breast belongs to Aaron and his sons. 32 You are to give the right thigh of your fellowship offerings to the priest as a contribution. 33 The son of Aaron who offers the blood and the fat of the fellowship offering shall have the right thigh as his share. 34 From the fellowship offerings of the Israelites, I have taken the breast that is waved and the thigh that is presented and have given them to Aaron the priest and his sons as their regular share from the Israelites.' "
What a scam.
¹= For the purposes of this post, "popular belief" means the belief of a popular individual or individuals and not a belief held by a large portion of the population unless the individuals composing said portion are, themselves, independently popular.
²= For the purposes of this post, "human" means a featherless biped with flat fingernails.
³= Attention Family Guy fans, for the purposes of this post--and normal human communications--"esoteric" does not mean "delicious."
ª= No we don't, but the statement is a tried--and trite--literary device.
*= How esoteric of me.
posted by Radio at 11:48:00 AM
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