This Just In: Chavez Trying to get Himself Killed

Nobody fucks with the IMF. I mean, if money makes the world go 'round, well...shit...IMF is in charge then, aren't they?

Look, the rich governments and corporations who make up the IMF have an interest in providing financing to dirt-poor countries--it makes them easier to manipulate and exploit. Just pretend that the IMF is Chase Manhattan and the poor countries are working class poor people: The countries pay their $50, get a "secured" line of credit (at, *cough* 35.99% interest), buy some "infrastrcuture," and then spend the next 200 years paying it off.

Times were, other countries (*cough* U.S.) could use this massive debt as leverage (wait, how much do we owe China right now? Thanks, Bush), say, to help "ease" the way for an oil conglomerate or help supply cheap crappy furniture for Pier One.

Now Chavez, having discovered the power and wealth that comes with a secure oil supply, is spending billions of dollars at home and abroad to combat things like poverty and Bushisms.

He's lucky it's not 1973, or he'd be dead already. "Where's Chavez?" "Oh, his plane mysteriously blew up over the Carribean." "Wow, I'm shocked, shocked."

He's supplied for heating oil through North and South American (including places as close as the Bronx) and even helped Argentina pay off its nearly $10 billion debt to the IMF.
Oops. Don't fuck with the IMF, Chavez, they got plans for you and your "continent," and if you try to set up some sort of populist regime, they are gonna take you down.


Sure, they never killed Castro, but Castro never HAD ANY MONEY. This guy is loaded (his country is, at least) and that presents a different challenge to an organization propped up by its massive spending power.

So take heed, Hugo, and remember what has happened to every South American and Latin American Leader who tried to shuck the "Monroe Doctrine."